Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Sept 20, 2005 19:35:41 GMT -5
Internal Crisis
Are we all confident in this? Do we all live in utter bliss? Our minds, they tell us rightly so, about ourselves we ought to know. But some of us query the thought, for about ourselves, we know not! Answers unknown plague us in sleep, morbid nightmares that make us weep. But light then strikes through darkest hell, holding us tight; making us swell with gratitude, oh so divine! For feelings glum are left behind! We now know what we will be, through kind kisses and gladdest glee. The answer, as we now know, lies within friends, to whom we go for advice and other sorts of light, For they know of our current plight. Always telling us to the end that we, to them, are their best friends.
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Post by St. Aatos on Sept 22, 2005 21:12:02 GMT -5
I like this poem! I also so the one you posted on your LJ account.
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Sept 23, 2005 11:52:54 GMT -5
Yeah, it's the same one pretty much. You've been reading my blog? Oh my. Not very many people read it.
My English teacher is telling me that I should submit it to Wings (some Literature magazine) for publishing. I'm not sure I will though.
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Halofarm
Servant Member
The One Who Lurks in Your Memories.
Posts: 75
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Post by Halofarm on Oct 1, 2005 11:17:56 GMT -5
This rocks, he has two others, they rock too
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Oct 1, 2005 18:42:12 GMT -5
Oh, I haven't posted them yet, have I? Well, I guess I will now.
Subservient
Sharing tender kisses and sensual fingers, loving hug from behind, scorching lust and wild eyes, one last smile and embrace before she pushes me off the cliff.
Fall
Dreams, though strange, tell us of ourselves… Though whether we want to know or not, in the unconscious mind it dwells. Darkness always around me as I fall into the abyss. Twirling ever so slightly, with nothing to do but reminisce. Am I I? Are you you? I don’t know where to go… Only darkness is with me now. I’m forever caught in the flow. Ever quickening I descend into the heart of me. I’m unable to run! There’s nowhere to flee! Maniacal cackles from the figures who appear before my eyes. Dark bodies and long fingers, constantly groping their new prize. My strength fades as I struggle against what these beasts want. But they only clutch me tighter and begin to chant a taunt. “All alone you are, and that’s how you will remain! For love and compassion you will never gain!” The darkness grows thicker, though one can say it can’t, but I’m still falling, being seduced with that chant… And the worst part isn’t how it all makes me feel. No, the worst part of it all… Is that this dream…it’s real.
Muhuahahaha...now it's your job to analyze and explicate. Face what I face every English class (so far)!!!
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Halofarm
Servant Member
The One Who Lurks in Your Memories.
Posts: 75
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Post by Halofarm on Oct 4, 2005 17:32:19 GMT -5
Muhaha this *raises middle finger*
The first, to me, represents ack of trust.
The second has a similar feel, lack of trust, paranoia.
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Oct 5, 2005 11:45:07 GMT -5
Meh, close enough. Well, on the first one at least.
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Halofarm
Servant Member
The One Who Lurks in Your Memories.
Posts: 75
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Post by Halofarm on Oct 5, 2005 14:17:40 GMT -5
Meh, see the way I'm not caring, interpretation really isn't my thing.
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 9, 2006 16:46:48 GMT -5
According to Beth, this is free-lance poetry. I didn't know that when I was writing it. Silly me I've got something new. I got the idea for the writing style this morning when I was reading Supplanter. It's somewhat confusing/disturbing. I finished it during History, and when I was thinking about it on the way home, I teared up a little. Warning: Contains some harsh language.You are all alone you are all alone you are all alone you are all alone YOU ARE ALL ALONE YOU ARE ALL ALONE YOU ARE ALL— He paces back and forth, from bed to door, turn, door to bed, turn, bed to door, turn, door to bed… ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE bed to door turn door to bed turn bed to door turn door to bed Madness. Silence. Chill. Ba-ding!He casually glances at the monitor. Screaming lyrics pour out of the speakers. Screaming lyrics pour into his ears. Screaming lyrics pour into his mind. Screaming lyrics screaming lyrics SCREAMING LYRICS the e-mail is ignored. He flops on the bed the rough bed the cold bed. He is ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE Ba-ding!The e-mail is ignored. He watches the door, glaring at the invisible lock that keeps outside away. Outside outside outside death. Introspection. Deep thought. Alone. Lonely. Cold. Empty. THIRST! He unlocks the imaginary lock on the door, bracing himself. The door bursts open. Screaming from outside. “YOU FAT SACK OF SHIT I HATE YOU GET AWAY DIE LONER FAILURE—“ the door is slammed shut he lies on the floor in the foetal position can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe. The door explodes open again “STUPID IDIOT RETARD FRAIDY CAT GET THE FUCK OUT—“ the door slams shut again he presses against the door holding it closed he fumbles for the lock it won’t lock it won’t lock IT WON’T LOCK IT WON’T LOCK WHY WON’T IT LOCK THE STUPID LOCK IS BROKEN click. The lock is in place. He’s still frightened. He places invisible chains through invisible loops he chains the door he chains the door shut. He’s trapped trapped in his room in his space in his PRISON. He is ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE— He forces back the pain he forces back the tears he forces back the emotion he forces back the life— Numb. Bethany(F) has just signed in.He looks up from his place on the floor. Bethany(F) says: hiHe goes to the computer and sits. The Bored Schizoid says: hi Bethany(F) says: how are you?I AM ALONE I’M FAT STUPID AND ALONE I’M— The Bored Schizoid says: fineTHE END
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 13, 2006 21:48:17 GMT -5
I was in the mood...again.
He is still all alone all alone in his room on his computer typing nonsense on the screen NONSENSE ON THE SCREEN the door is still shut the door is still locked the door is still chained. screaming at the door. They are still screaming at the door. He ignores them. They still scream. He ignores them. THEY STILL SCREAM— Bang. He’s shocked by the door. The chains are still holding. The door vibrates bang after bang after bang after bang the door starts to crack down the middle. “I’m here.” Light shines through the cracks the cracks are getting bigger he’s afraid afraid of what might happen HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING HE’S— Alone. Bang. The cracks are huge. The door explodes into tiny pieces. The chain breaks. There is no stopping outside from coming in. “outside is death outside is death” he tells himself but he still steps forward. “Never alone.” still screaming outside yelling “YOU’RE WORTHLESS YOU DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE” but it’s quiet the light is drowning it out he steps forward again coming closer to the light it hurts his eyes he covers his eyes the light still hurts it BURNS— “Tell me what you want with your mind.” He concentrates. Concentrating…concentrating…concentrating…concentrating…he opens his eyes. He’s back on his bed in his room with the door and lock and chains and the blinds are shut at the computer is on and the e-mails are ignored and he looks inside of himself. “Alone. Leave me alone. It’s my destiny to be alone.”
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 22, 2006 17:58:50 GMT -5
...And again.
All these things have lost their life… It’s lost its power… Its glamour… Its fun. There’s only the chores. The routine. Wake up; go to school, go home, work, and sleep… Repeat repeat repeat repeat Why? Why do we subject ourselves to this torture? Is this all we have? Is this all there is? Is there? IS THERE? Yes. It’s all the same Repeated throughout history. We are doomed to do everything Again And again And again And again It’s our punishment for living.
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 23, 2006 21:28:23 GMT -5
I was angry and wrote this in five minutes.
Self-Destruct
He always grinds his teeth. He always sits too close to the TV. He always smashes his face on his desk. He always screams until his throat bleeds. He always cuts himself on the glass of the mirrors he shatters. He always holds on to the light bulb until he can’t feel the pain. He always goes to sleep angry at himself for letting things happen. He always smothers himself with a pillow until he almost passes out. He always tells himself that he’s stupid, perverted and unworthy of living. He always bites his tongue to the point of bleeding instead of speaking up. He always annoys his dog to the point that it bites him, savouring the feeling. He always ignores his friends when they say that his self-destructive behaviour will kill him. He always eagerly waits for that day.
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 24, 2006 23:01:23 GMT -5
I've been all..."bleh" today after strange events that started at 4AM. So I opened up Word once more and wrote something that isn't as angry as the other recent things I've been writing. It's alright enough. I'll leave the readers to decide how good/bad it is.
Inner Ramblings
I’m always lying in bed wondering if I will ever become like everyone else. Always smiling and hugging and loving while chatting about what’s “in.” But is this necessarily a good thought? To become a mindless sheep like the rest of the entire world? I think about the possibility of doing the exact same thing that everyone else does and I suddenly hate myself. The one thing I hope to feel is love, because it seems to be the only thing that will release me from my catatonic state…
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Silamai
Cult Member
Holy Scribe
Silamai dances like a stripper. O_o
Posts: 222
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Post by Silamai on Feb 25, 2006 15:02:11 GMT -5
I really need to stop writing so much poetry. It's keeping me from writing other stuff.
Well an interesting thing happened yesterday, which is kind of what inspired this poem. A friend of mine confessed to having a crush on me. That's not really so bad, I guess, but that's the third person. Apparently I'm "desirable" or something.
Unfortunately, I'm not romantically attracted to them, so they can't exactly go anywhere. I wrote this poem as a half-assed type of explanation. I didn't put much thought into writing it.
I was also thinking of an old friend of mine who must have fallen in love with 20 girls in a year and dumped them all because he only liked one or two things about them and they refused to change. How can you love someone if you only like one or two parts of them? It's ridiculous. Trying to change them to suit you isn't what love is at all (in my opinion at least). You shouldn't have to worry about that at all. I mean sure, some parts should be good for you, but it's next to impossible to find that person who's your vision of perfection. I guess I can't complain though, since this poem mainly deals with finding that "perfect" person. I'm such a hypocrite!
Besides, you could get a pleasant surprise from people who may seem to not be your type
So enjoy or whatever [rolls eyes]
The Whole Package
The first girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought I was funny, which was the best trait a man could have. I shrugged her off because I wasn’t able to laugh.
The second girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought I was wise, which was the best trait a man could have. I shrugged her off because I wasn’t able to think.
The third girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought I was handsome, which was the best trait a man could have. I shrugged her off because I wasn’t able to smile.
The final girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought I was different, which was the best trait a man could have. I looked into her eyes and saw sincerity.
The final girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought that I was thoughtful, introverted and gifted. I smiled inwardly and ran my hand across her delicate cheek.
The final girl came to me and told me she liked me. She thought that I was perfect the way I am. I brought our lips together and kissed her.
I came to the final girl and told her I liked her. I thought that she was genuine, which was the best trait a woman could have. She wanted the entire me, and not just a single piece.
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Post by St. Aatos on Feb 26, 2006 0:05:26 GMT -5
that last one was excellent, really loved the flow of it.
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